We the Tribe sweatshirt, Current Elliot pants, JM Cazabat shoes
Wearing my favorite sweatshirt and trying to step outside of the denim box. I don’t think I’ve worn these pants since Hoggie was an infant (jeez!). The shoes I don’t wear nearly as much as I’d like to. I still think these are the most perfect pair of pumps in existence; they have that whole unfussy, minimal, no platform thing I was going on about in the previous post.
And speaking of the previous post, let me tell you all about that bug problem I mentioned…
Ok, so the temperature here is starting to rise, and it’s about the time for the ants of L.A. to make their way into people’s homes in search of water. Normal. We put down some ant bait and wait for the scouts to not come back inside. Heh. The next day, a swarm is at the window. Then there’s a swarm in the back. Dudeguy, thinking this odd, dutifully purchases a can of Raid and sources where the ants are coming from. He’d removed some old posts to put a new fence up a couple of weeks ago and saw that the ants were coming from the hole. He sprays inside of the hole and ALL OF THE SIX LEGGED CREATURES OF THE WORLD start POURING UP and OUT of it. Ants everywhere. Roaches of various sizes everywhere. It looked just like that part in Indiana Jones and the Temple of Doom where the screamy blonde chick had to reach inside of that bug filled tunnel to keep the wall of spikes from crushing Indy and that little Asian kid.
So yes. Disgusting. Insects pouring up out of the ground and spazzing and dying from the Raid. Hundreds of them. He finds another hole where a post had been. Sprays inside the hole. Another swarm.
Now he’s wondering whether or not we should seek out the person who hexed the house. He asks the neighbor what the deal was. Apparently, there was a gopher problem a few years ago and an exterminator came out and…exterminated them. Trouble is, gophers, being the ground dwelling creatures they are, do not surface when exterminated. They die in their network of tunnels and then decay and then attract ALL OF THE SIX LEGGED CREATURES OF THE WORLD to come and feast on the remains. They then breed and turn your backyard into a huge nest of awful, creeping, crawling things that will eventually make their way to the inside of your house when it’s hot outside.
I haven’t slept a decent night since this happened because I think the house is going to suddenly fall into the ground and that I will be eaten alive by insects.
This is a completely rational line of thought.
I am a wholehearted believer in the “Hov did that, so hopefully you won’t have to go through that” school of thought, so here is a lesson for all of you lovies. If you are buying a house, never trust flippers, make sure the countertops are level, and check all of the inspection reports for signs of there ever being gophers on the property. If there ever were, chances are high that you live on top of a kingdom of insects that is waiting for your house to collapse so they can eat you. Or something like that.