Jeffrey Campbell Nirvana boot via Nasty Gal
So one night while I was internet browsing while angry (around the same night I bought those dresses I mentioned in the last post), I decided to pull up the shoe section at Nasty Gal because it’s always great for a giggle. Anyway, I get to the shoe section and am hit in the face with this
Timberland Tannenbaum boot whose sole was unfortunate enough to fall into a puddle of growth hormone. This is the shoe version of an anime character’s face; just disproportionate as all hell.
I’m sure your favorite 90′s NY rapper is somewhere weeping softly because a part of his street cred has been turned into this Spice Girl-esque specimen. I would be too. I blame Stella McCartney and the resurgence in popularity of shoes from 20 years ago for this shit. Some things just shouldn’t go together. Like fish and cheese. Or Deion Sanders and a rap career.
All that aside, I think I’m most upset about the name chosen for the boot. Nirvana. Really? In what world does one associate this with a higher plane or Kurt Cobain? I didn’t mean to make that rhyme, I swear. Maybe I’m missing something, so I’m turning to you all:
WHY ARE THESE BOOTS CALLED ‘NIRVANA’?
a – These are the only shoes tough enough to wear on the rough way to enlightenment
b – Courtney Love was somewhere being petty as hell
c – The name was drawn from a fishbowl among others like Sriracha, Tampico, and Foxxxxy
d – Choose your own adventure
I used to do these a lot a little while back. More shit-talky here.