Rossmore Only Hearts necklace

Nothing special going on over this-a-way, save for cutting out paper hearts and the latest episode of Drag Race…but I’m sure you all knew that already.  =D  I hope the lot of you did something special (or not), and had a great time doing it.

This is probably the most publicly acceptable I’ve looked in weeks…probably months…clothes are starting to bore the hell out of me.

Oh, and I can stick stuff in my hair now.  Pretty stoked about that.

Tonight.  10pm.  Don’t be jealous of my boogie.

I swear, if you don’t watch this show, I don’t think we can be friends.  It’s that serious.

UPDATE: I feel like dancing.  Grab ya glowsticks.

And now, to seriously announce the random.org-ly selected winner of the response required contest, everyone put your hands together for:

LEE!!!

Lee’s comment:

Can we give these to Lil Wayne? Then put a padlock on it? I’m tired of hearing about his little gremlins being harvested in wombs around the nation.

Count me in.

I couldn’t agree more.  That man is WAY too fertile.

Thank you all for participating and adding your mania to the internets and making these past few rainy days brighter.  I <3 you all.

…will be picked tomorrow. You guys are a hot ass mess and it’s just unfair for me to have to pick a favorite. As such, anyone who still wants in on a pair of free earrings, head over to this post, leave a comment with “count me in” at the end, and I’ll do a random number drawing.

You guys are hilarious…and possibly a lil’ disturbed. It’s ok, though, because I love you like play-cousins. Don’t ever change!

Since a few of you asked so nicely (and since my Flip was wasting away on top of my desk), I present you with a video tutorial.  Please keep a few things in mind:

1. I feel extremely weird talking to no one
2. I chuff at my own jokes…kinda like D.L. Hughley, but not as boisterous
3. 
4. if you need a refresher on who Catherine Baba is, go here

Turban Tying 101…or 102…or 103 depending on whose blogs you read…

——–

Any questions?

I like to celebrate Thanksgiving by reading my favorite fall-time story by Colin Nissan.  I’ve reposted it below for you all:

IT’S DECORATIVE
GOURD SEASON, MOTHERFUCKERS.

BY COLIN NISSAN

- – - -

I don’t know about you, but I can’t wait to get my hands on some fucking gourds and arrange them in a horn-shaped basket on my dining room table. That shit is going to look so seasonal. I’m about to head up to the attic right now to find that wicker fucker, dust it off, and jam it with an insanely ornate assortment of shellacked vegetables. When my guests come over it’s gonna be like, BLAMMO! Check out my shellacked decorative vegetables, assholes. Guess what season it is—fucking fall. There’s a nip in the air and my house is full of mutant fucking squash.

I may even throw some multi-colored leaves into the mix, all haphazard like a crisp October breeze just blew through and fucked that shit up. Then I’m going to get to work on making a beautiful fucking gourd necklace for myself. People are going to be like, “Aren’t those gourds straining your neck?” And I’m just going to thread another gourd onto my necklace without breaking their gaze and quietly reply, “It’s fall, fuckfaces. You’re either ready to reap this freaky-assed harvest or you’re not.”

Carving orange pumpkins sounds like a pretty fitting way to ring in the season. You know what else does? Performing an all-gourd reenactment of an episode of Diff’rent Strokes—specifically the one when Arnold and Dudley experience a disturbing brush with sexual molestation. Well, this shit just got real, didn’t it? Felonies and gourds have one very important commonality: they’re both extremely fucking real. Sorry if that’s upsetting, but I’m not doing you any favors by shielding you from this anymore.

The next thing I’m going to do is carve one of the longer gourds into a perfect replica of the Mayflower as a shout-out to our Pilgrim forefathers. Then I’m going to do lines of blow off its hull with a hooker. Why? Because it’s not summer, it’s not winter, and it’s not spring. Grab a calendar and pull your fucking heads out of your asses; it’s fall, fuckers.

Have you ever been in an Italian deli with salamis hanging from their ceiling? Well then you’re going to fucking love my house. Just look where you’re walking or you’ll get KO’d by the gauntlet of misshapen, zucchini-descendant bastards swinging from above. And when you do, you’re going to hear a very loud, very stereotypical Italian laugh coming from me. Consider yourself warned.

For now, all I plan to do is to throw on a flannel shirt, some tattered overalls, and a floppy fucking hat and stand in the middle of a cornfield for a few days. The first crow that tries to land on me is going to get his avian ass bitch-slapped all the way back to summer.

Welcome to autumn, fuckheads!

So, the rain is being a bee-yotch and we are being forced to cancel our yard sale.  This sucks.  But, I doubt any of you would want to buy a soggy car stereo.  Or a soggy fog machine.  Or a soggy didgeridoo.

Don’t ask me why I have these things.

Picture via this site.

It just dawned on me that this blog is 2 years old (tomorrow…I think…don’t feel like checking…and I suck at dates).

** UPDATE: Ok, I checked.  Turns out it was August 12th…yeaaaaaaaaaaah. **

Anyway, to “celebrate” I’m going to do a Question & Answer post.

Fire away.

For all the new folks…and the not so new folks…a video of me rambling, sniffling, and pretending I’m LL Cool J circa 1998…

I should have put on some lip gloss or something…sorry…

Laura’s Song by Donwill playing in the background
Hanes T-Shirt
DIY necklace
Crenshaw High track sweats

Thanks again to Coco & Creme and to all of y’all!  I love you like play cousins.    =D

Via The Story of Cosmetics.  More videos about more stuff are on The Story of Stuff website.

This and Food, Inc. have me on the cusp of an entire shift in what I buy to put in and on my body.  I’m all for going green and carbon footprint reduction in terms of slowing environmental wreckage, but this, THIS provides an entirely different motive.  Learning that the ingreedients in products and food (produced by SELF-POLICING industries) could be responsible for the rising incidences in cancer, illnesses, and disorders  has BLOWN my mind…and scared the shit out of me.

Thoughts?

UPDATE: Here are some links provided by Lady World for your consideration.  Let’s be proactive (from our desks) people!!!

• Search products and their toxicity levels at the Campaign for Safe Cosmetic’s  Skin Deep Database.
• Sign the petition for the FDA to ban lead in cosmetics.
• Read about the Safe Cosmetics Act of 2010.

Thank you, Lady World!