Jul 20instant vintage : 07.2010 : …people I meet… (Confessions, Side-Eye)
Today, I was outside my building waiting to meet someone to hand over a dress (will explain much, much later). As I’m standing and waiting for my point person to appear, a man walking by wearing earbuds that may or may not have been attached to a device stops in front of me. I figured he might be my point person. He pulls out one of the earbuds and a conversation ensues. I quickly realize that he was NOT my point person.
Following is our full coversation to the best of my memory. The portions in all caps indicate the points where he was yelling. Actually yelling.
——-
“HEY! WHAT HAPPENED TO YOUR HAIR?!”
“I cut it off.”
“OH MAN. WHY’D YOU DO THAT?”
“I was bored”
“So…do you work around here?”
“Yeah. In there.” (points to building behind me)
“Can I get a job?”
“Probably not. They aren’t hiring. In fact we had to lay off some people.”
“Well, my name’s CHRIS.”
“Nice to meet you, Chris.”
– At this point, I rub my head from back to front. This is the official sign for “get me the fuck out of here; this man is crazy.” No one sees me and my point person is not yet in sight. I cry a little on the inside. –
“Who did that? EDDIE MURPHY?”
“Huh?”
He points to my tattoo.
” The Golden Child! Eddie Murphy, right?”
“Ohhhhhhhh. No, this was my dad’s nickname for me.” (at this point, I realized that my lack of hair probably wasn’t helping my argument…)
“Oh, ok. Well, I’m out right now. Taking a walk. At least I’m outside.”
“Yeah…it’s a nice day for a walk…not too hot.”
He walks away.
I see a couple of coworkers/friends of mine walking into our building and plead with them to stay with me because the man who was just in front of me might come back. They were both in the middle of eating, so they declined. Jerks. It was alright, though. My point person showed up a few seconds later, the exchange was made, and I went back inside.
——-
My friend Duckey says these kinds of interactions are my fault because I “engage the crazy.” The way I see it, if I didn’t, I’d have fewer stories to tell. In fact, I’m pretty sure I forgot to tell you guys about the time I was (not-really) swindled by an Indian fortune teller wearing a hot pink turban. Yeah, that was interesting.
Oh, and since Chris brought up the movie, here is one of my favorite scenes from The Golden Child:
I hope you’re all having a wonderful week.
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24 Responses to “…people I meet…”
OMG pretty much my life story. Except I’ve learned, after living in SF, not to engage the crazy. It does make for more interesting stories when you do, but imagine one of the crazies is a murderer. And you can’t tell stories when you’re dead. “You can’t tell stories when you’re dead.” – That’s pretty much my life philosophy and probably why I’m about .5% agoraphobic, assuming agoraphobia and any kind of mental illness can be calculated on a sliding scale – 100% being batshit crazy and .5% being Kristine alone, eating hot pockets on a Friday night because going outside when the sun’s down scares her.
.-= Kristine´s last blog ..0719- Closeted =-.
Alicia Reply:
July 21st, 2010 at 9:26 am
I really need to make that a motto. I’m always thinking about that after I engage.
No bueno.
LOL.
for some reason that seems like a typical encounter to me.
I want to meet more random people like that, to be honest <__< !
.-= sui´s last blog ..you answered- & I listened! =-.
Alicia Reply:
July 21st, 2010 at 9:25 am
It is. LOL.
Okay, my favorite part of your story is “I cry a little on the inside”
I swear I laughed out loud,literally!
I promise you I cry a little on the inside every single day of my life about something! That’s officially my favorite new saying!
I agree with your friend…you engaging in the initial question was asking for it!
Thank you for the funny!
Alicia Reply:
July 21st, 2010 at 9:25 am
I aim to please. =D
And sometimes…crying on the inside is all we can do…because crying on the outside would be weird.
And not for nothing…I think your cut is gowjus! You rock the hell out of that cut girl!
Alicia Reply:
July 21st, 2010 at 9:25 am
Thanks!
Oh, I would be scared too, lesson learnt, next time I won’t talk to weird strangers at all, hope you are OK now
, XOXO
.-= jemina´s last blog .. hypeed feature my sunglasses made the cut =-.
Alicia Reply:
July 21st, 2010 at 9:24 am
I’m fiiiiiiiiiiiine! =D
Yeah, don’t talk to strangers. I need to remember that.
I’d probably engage a lot more crazies if I stopped being so much of a beyatch when mentally unstable homeless ppl and pervy old men approach me, I usually turn the other way and ignore them. But you know what, I kinda feel bad for Chris tho, sounds like he really needed a job and all he was trying to do was being friendly, maybe he had a family to support or children to feed or a sickly grandma or a cat…. Ok maybe I need to get some sleep and stop giving this Chris situation too much thought hahaha, hope you’re well darling.
Much love always,
Glendy <3
Alicia Reply:
July 21st, 2010 at 9:24 am
I just can’t turn away. I’m not sure why, but I’ve always talked to people, shaken their hands (even homeless dudes) and then I stand and secretly hope they don’t stab me in the streets. To be fair, Chris seemed like a very nice guy.
the freaks love us … and we love them. (not really)
.-= duckalicious´s last blog ..8 =-.
Alicia Reply:
July 21st, 2010 at 9:22 am
We love them from a distance…a very safe distance. LOL.
LOL Believe it or not, I attract crazies ALL the time too. I have some stories I could tell. Hey I’m going to feature your blog in a handmade fashion post Saturday.
Alicia Reply:
July 21st, 2010 at 9:22 am
Thanks, Sing!!
And share the storieeeeeeeeeeees!!!
Oh god, I love you. I still use that “I-I-I-want the knife” line abut 80% of the times I ask for a knife. A surprisingly large number of people answer, “…Pleeeeaaase”.
Why do I ask for knives so much?
I am also a petite black woman with glasses and I get approached by crazy people ALL THE TIME. Also old people and tourists and anyone looking for directions. I guess I am just really approachable, and look like I know my way around. I think people really do associate glasses with being intelligent and gentle. I also suspect that foreigners think, “She is black, so she must live here.” When I’ve gone to France, people there also asked me for directions.
Alicia Reply:
July 21st, 2010 at 9:22 am
Nothing wrong with asking for knives. I happen to own a few, so I guess black women wiht glasses like knives…or I just outed myself…hmm…
And LOLs! That’s hilarious. People usually ask me for directions while I’m driving…yelling through car windows and such.
Did you give out directions in France? Because that would have been funny. LOL.
I wish you could have taken a picture of the fortune teller with the pink turban. Pink!
I attract the crazies, too, and they like to mess with me more because I always become apprehensive and so they know they’re getting to me.
.-= Sheena´s last blog ..Summertime- And the Livin’ is Easy =-.
My nutty story is something like yours. This guy came up to me and my friend and tried to give us a physic reading. Just started telling us things that he thought were in our past or future. I was like um ok creepy guy, no thanks. Then after standing in the same spot for a while talking, he brought me a donut from the store next door. Like I’d really eat that. Just strange.
You totally engaged that crazy! You should have cut it off at the hair comment!
But since I take public trans to work I feel your pain. One time this old man housed the hell out me once cause I wouldn’t let him read over my shoulder. Like he literally screamed me!
My dad used to play the Golden Child all the time! That part and the dancing can are my fav!
.-= Fajr | Stylish Thought´s last blog ..Shoe Lust- An Unrequited Shoe Lust Story =-.
whatever happened to the golden child lady? she was awesome!!!
i meet crazy people all the time. one guy encouraged me to try to sign a record deal because my voice was so lovely. yeah…um, i sound like james earl jones when i talk. but it was very sweet of him AND i had a story to tell when i got off the train. besides. crazy people are fun. like me.
.-= pennerad´s last blog ..loose bits =-.
Whenever crazy approaches me, I welcome it. I love conversing with nutty people. Fortunately, I have a built in radar on whether a person is more likely to be rape/murder crazy or just odd and/or obnoxious crazy. But I intentionally leave myself open to nutty shit..you probably do too. Shit, continue to engage, you always come across some cool shit.
Hilarious saying… I think I “engage the crazy” too. Blame it on my curiosity and motor mouth – - I just like being nice and think everyone could possibly have an interesting story.