Jun 02instant vintage : 06.2010 : …superfreak… (Confessions)
I may or may not have mentioned my borderline unhealthy fixation with Rick James. Consider yourself informed.
Yesterday, I went on a brief Twitter rant that glossed over the need for editors and accountability for online magazines. Why, you ask? Because earlier that day, I received an email newsletter from one online magazine in particular that stated the following:
Even without a legendary father, Rick James, Leela James holds her own.
*PUMPS THE BREAKS*
I realize now that this is probably more poor sentence structure than an egregious misstatement of fact, but someone should have a) clarified that Leela James is no kin to the late, great Sir Rick of Sparkles (also known as my Ambrose-ia) or b) completely rewritten that sentence so that the familial relationship wasn’t insinuated.
What’s funny is I don’t think I would have paid any attention to the oversight had Rick James not been mentioned. I ain’t ‘shamed. I’m a stan! I’ve openly admitted several times that had I been alive and/or grown enough at the time, I would have groupied-it-up after a show. At least twice. Yup. I said it.
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MUSICAL.GENIUS.
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Recently I found, and briefly considered purchasing, a concert jumpsuit of his:
The description:
Startifacts presents the authentic turquoise jumpsuit allotted with several hundred flashy rhinestones and studs along with gold piping accents. The jumpsuit does show heavy wear, mostly around the sleeves.
The jumpsuit comes with two very elaborate knee-high, high heeled boots. Rick James wore one pair of leather boots and the other matching pair of boots was worn by another band member.
The Rick James jumpsuit and boots comes complete with a LOA, a lifetime money back guarantee, and Startifacts notarized certificate of authenticity which guarantees the items full and undeniable authenticity.
You read that right. “…jumpsuit allotted with several hundred flashy rhinestones and studs…,” “…gold piping accents…,” “…lifetime money back guarantee….” I LOVE that this comes with a lifetime money back guarantee. Not that I’d ever be dissatisfied with a purchase of memorabilia stained with the wrist and neck (and possibly ball) sweat of THE Rick James, but having that kind of protection is nice. I’ll bet it smells like the champagne room at a strip club…
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This has absolutely nothing to do with this post, but since the champagne room was mentioned, I thought I’d take it back to 1999…NSFW
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Ok, I wasn’t really thinking about buying the jumpsuit, but if I had a museum of historical sequined artifacts, this would be #1 on the “To Be Curated” list. Now, without trying to gauge whether or not I’m being serious in this post, tell me:
What else should be on the “To Be Curated” list?
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31 Responses to “…superfreak…”
My boyf is currently shaking his Korean arse w/ awful moves to Rick Jame’s Hawt video, lmao!
I’m Rick James Bitch!! LOL, great post in honor of a legend <3
[...] This post was mentioned on Twitter by Alicia, Licier, etc., Glendy. Glendy said: A true fashion icon! RT @InnyVinny for ur enjoyment & entertainment the RICK JAMES post: http://www.innyvinny.com/2010/06/02/superfreak/ [...]
Perfect post! I could have stood to see a Chappelle reference, but it’s still just super freak perfection. Prince( he includes Jerome, Morris, Wendy, Lisa, Vanity, all of em purple mofos) would be added to the To Be Curated list in my life, lol.
.-= jane goldenarms´s last blog ..Dwele: What’s Not To Love =-.
Bravo! its bad enough we have bloggers making up their own foolywang about artists andd now a supposed respected publication? Yuck.
As far as Rick is concerned, I’m not a stan but If I were a grown up in his era I shol’ would have let him lick my face. He had an orange ora. Seriously! (And I’m a Teena Marie stan so the brotha knew talent! Who knew Eddie Murphy could sing?) LMAO.
Alicia Reply:
June 2nd, 2010 at 12:36 pm
You made me laugh…hard…for real.
And change your avatar!!! =P
LiLi Sheree Reply:
June 3rd, 2010 at 9:29 am
I’m on it!!!
thank you for bringing tears to my eyes. hilarious post. also…very nostalgic for me. guess that means i’m old?
.-= pennerad´s last blog ..top o’ the morning =-.
I love (well loved) me some Rick James. and I was cracking up reading this whole post. Hahaha!
xxx
t
.-= Apparellel´s last blog ..00018 =-.
your blog is so inspirational, love it
I think Rick James is a sort of spirit animal for me (along with Elizabeth Taylor OBVIOUSLY) because his lifestyle of being carefree and ridiculous really resonates with me. Because of your post I think I’m going to put something skintight on and slather the body glitter without restriction tonight!!!
OBVIOUSLY YOU HAVE TO CURATE MICHAEL JACKSON’S SUPERBAD THRILLER JACKET!
Caps means I’m bug eyed…
.-= Kenita´s last blog ..inspiration & motivation =-.
I’m with Kenita.
.-= Lenya Jones´s last blog ..FLS Interview on Redroverstyle.com =-.
Rick was a true R.L.N. I wasn’t sexually attracted to the him, but I do admire his balls. Just straight up don’t give a fuckness all around. I must admit that the archnemesis could have gotten fucked though w/ the panties and the trench.
I imagine Rick sex being some shit like he snatch you out a limosine by your drawstring ponytail, pulling your mouth towards his, tonguing you brusquely (sp?). He suddenly pulls away from you to gulp at the bottle of hennessy, still holding onto your ponytail as you obdiently wait for him to finish.
He flings onto the hood of the limosuine, giving a sly smile to the driver as he gropes yours titties and backside in a theatrical manner. Gold bangles clink in anticipation. You feel the groove of his diamond rings indenting your skin.
Not loosening the grip on his libations, he pulls your dress up (who the fuck wearing draws to a Rick James concert?) bites your luscious cheeks and readies himself for nathan but penetration. He slowly unzips his red leather trouser suit. “Tell me you want this big black cobra.” “I want it”, you moan aching for it. “Bitch, tell me you want this anaconda to knock the lining out that p*****!” “Cave it in baby! Give it to me!”
Rick laughs at this uproariously at this bad but so appropiate pun even though he has heard it from many a stagep***y.
With this, he plunges into your sweet velvet cave. Sawing in and out of your milky treasure cavern, you descend into primal pleasures the likes which you have never known. Rick is talking dirty to you, the nasty names and thangs swirling about you in a hedonistic whirlpool of sexiness. You drowning in his aura.
You look back at him. He takes another swig from the hood gentleman’s scotch and smiles lewdly at you. Your knees buckle from this display, this show that he is putting on just for you.
The thrusts get more powerful, shorter, more compact. As he goes into you harder, you feel your love come down onto this hot leather and your dewy skin, creating an erotic adhesive. You hear Rick mutter “Oh shit”, as the last of his pumps minimize into a few powerful bumps. You shiver and cry out at the same time he does. You lay breathless against the hood, nipples stuck to the smooth steel.
Rick unglues himself from your person. You can see the blurry outline of your reflection the crotch of his pants. His big black anaconda still glows with the evidence of your womanly essence. He burrows his snake back into his leather trousers. He brings his fingers to his lips and sampling you in a different way. “MMMMMMM”, he smiles. “Nice”.
Looking over your still prostrated body, he says with mock concern “Let’s get you cleaned up.” Before you can say anything, a waterfall of sharp smelling amber liquid encases you, drenching that expensive ponytail, the not so expensive dress, and your starry eyed p*****. You leap up, your whole being alerted to a state of level orange b.k.a. “What the dog fuck?”. Rick roars, laughing maniacally, flipping his wig out of his eyes. He stumbles back to the limosuine door, cowboy boot heels clicking, echoing tauntingly in the dark alleyway.
Anyhoo,
Curation list:
Any Thin White Duke era Bowie suit/hat
ODB’s Gold teeth
Lil Kim’s wigs in the Crush on You video
Alicia Reply:
June 3rd, 2010 at 9:24 am
You win. You just win.
LOL
QQ Reply:
June 3rd, 2010 at 10:14 am
I’m ABSOLUTELY positive fulminated at this whole Post, sex possibility and the origins of Leela James LOLOOOOLL
Danielle Reply:
June 3rd, 2010 at 11:56 am
DYING. Goodness, I have tears in my eyes and I’m trying to keep my laughs muffled, since I’m at work and bored out of my skull.
Just…*DEAD*.
Nine months later you give birth to a little girl. You name her Leela.
Ariel Reply:
June 2nd, 2010 at 11:31 pm
what happened to my other post?
Alicia Reply:
June 3rd, 2010 at 9:28 am
Overzealous spam filter. I can’t get it to calm down. It’s up though. =D
Alicia Reply:
June 3rd, 2010 at 9:28 am
LMAOOOOOOOOO!!!!!
You’ve got such a cool blog. This is my first time checking it out. I really like it. Rick James is so awesome.
Alicia Reply:
June 3rd, 2010 at 4:30 pm
Thank you! =D
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=yUrqy1Ec06c
HOLD MY DRINK BITCH. I’M RICK JAMES BITCH. *hair flick*
swoon.
.-= STOPITRIGHTNOW´s last blog ..somewhere over the rainbow =-.
Alicia Reply:
June 3rd, 2010 at 4:39 pm
LOOOOOOOOOOOVE YOU!
oh shit i almost forgot why i came here duh.
the platforms were originally made for Judy Garland in 1938 or something by Ferragamo. This new one is part of Ferragamo Creations, the limited edition rereleases of some of their most historic, archival shoes. $2500 though. If I’m going to pay that much $$, it better have some of Judy Garland’s sweat or a toe print or some shit.
.-= STOPITRIGHTNOW´s last blog ..somewhere over the rainbow =-.
Alicia Reply:
June 3rd, 2010 at 4:31 pm
I thought so. Those shoes are crazytown. If I see them on someone, I’ll jack them. Deal?
Alicia Reply:
June 3rd, 2010 at 4:31 pm
And LMAO @ toe print!
HOLY FUCKIN SHIT THIS IS HILARIOUS! *PUMPS THE BREAKS* WHILE I GO AND WHIP THE LANDING STRIP THAT I HAVE ON TOP OF MY HEAD IN A PREDICTABLY FAILED ATTEMPT IN IMAGINING HAVING AN ENCOUNTER WITH A DARK COBRA.
Alicia Reply:
June 3rd, 2010 at 11:02 pm
*dies*
I <3 Ariel for that. HALL OF FAME status!
This entire post has me dying! Groupie for Rick James….I thought I was bad with my love for Bobby Brown(YEAAAAAARS AGO). You have me beat, and I’m mad at “Startifacts presents” as if they are introducing a group.
.-= hishers´s last blog ..Island Girl =-.