Inked…again (Uncategorized)
Two years ago yesterday, my daddy died. He suffered a massive heart attack while sitting at his desk at work. Two days before, we had gotten into one of our trademark spats. I hadn’t spoken to him since. My last memory is of him on a hospital bed, face covered in an oxygen mask – gone. The image is seared in the back of my mind. I wish it weren’t.
The relationship I had with my father wasn’t an easy one. We were both stubborn, passionate, ill-tempered, and easily excitable. We were cut from the same proverbial cloth. I’m pretty sure that was destined to be; my father named me after himself (his middle name was Ali). I feel like he should have known that I was going to be a miniature version of him and planned accordingly. Not so much. We had great times and horrible times at the hands of our egos. One day, we’d be going back and forth about who was cuter (me, obviously) and who drove the faster Mustang (I’ll admit it, the SVO had my 5.0 beat). Other days, we’d be at each other’s throats in a shouting match that could be heard well past the walls of our house. In hindsight, I can appreciate the love that fueled such a volatile relationship. It made me who I am. I miss it.
—
Yesterday, after braving the streets of Los Angeles from Inglewood, to Los Feliz to Hollywood, I got my fourth tattoo. Apparently the tattoo convention was this weekend and everyone decided it would be a great idea to be there instead of in their damn shops. I actually called one place to inform them I was on the way only to pull up and see the guy LEAVING. LEAVING!!!
But I digress. The tattoo itself is simple text reading “Golden Child.” This was my dad’s nickname for me (all of my sisters and brother have them…I think I got the best one =P) in my father’s handwriting.
Not long after he died and my mom, sister, and I had to umm…abandon…our home of 15 years, I was going through my piles and piles of shit looking for things to sell. I came across a book that dad had given me for my birthday earlier that year; Essence’s 50 Most Inspiring African-Americans. I’d only thumbed through it a couple of times before, but this time I noticed that he had written me a note on the inside cover. I burst into tears after reading it. In fact, I’m welling up as I write this now, remembering myself reading it back in 2007. So emo.
Dearest Alicia,
Use this book as inspiration to get to the top. I know that you are destined to be in a future edition. Fly high Golden Child.
Always Your Daddy
*pause for loud church-lady-at-funeral type caterwauling*
Alright. Emotional outburst over.
This one is for you, dad. I know you hate tattoos, but as vain as you are, I know that anything related to you being permanently etched on to my person is bound to make you smile. I love you.
Muhammad A Nassardeen
November 16, 1952 – October 11, 2007
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34 Responses to “Inked…again”
The tattoo looks great and oh jeez, I’m welling up at the story. What a touching way to remember your dad.
.-= Michelle´s last blog ..Marvelous Monday! =-.
I, too, welled up reading this story. The picture of your mom & dad made me cry, simply because they look so happy & in love. I miss that with my parents…
It’s so unfortunate that your father was taken away from you too soon. But I think the tattoo you got in homage to him is beautiful. Absolutely beautiful. What’s even MORE beautiful is the fact that you got it in his handwriting. Lovely.
.-= Ev`Yan || apricot tea.´s last blog ..apricot’s closet: the first real layers for Fall. =-.
WOW—this was really beautiful! You got me hear all crying and stuff…lol. Reminds me to visit my dad more often.
And love the tattoo
.-= The Style and Beauty Doctor´s last blog ..Talk Amongst Yourselves =-.
That is so sweet. *sniffle*
.-= birdie´s last blog ..Wholestyle on the Web: Week of 10/09/2009 =-.
Make that a third who got sniffly and teary-eyed reading this! What a wonderful tribute to your father, and I’m certain he’d be proud of all you’re doing lady.
.-= Ashe Mischief´s last blog ..The Dramatis Personae: Desperately Seeking Susan =-.
Hey Alicia
I’m not a fan of tats either, but if there was ever an inspirational story or a reason to get one, this would be one. Your father is proud of you, I am sure.
Thanks for sharing this.
xx D
.-= dreamsequins´s last blog ..Announcing mono’s New Website and Webshop =-.
The tattoo is absolutely beautiful; such a fitting tribute and perfect way to keep your dad close to you always. Sorry to hear your dad was taken so soon, but it sounds like despite the volatile relationship you shared, he loved you a lot as you did him.
.-= Linda´s last blog ..Shooting for the Moon. =-.
Having lost my father three years ago, I feel your pain. I actually cried reading this, it made me think of my dad, who I miss very, very much. He went too soon.
And the tattoo looks great, a fitting tribute.
.-= She´s last blog ..‘IRL’. =-.
This is absolutely beautiful.
I started to well up just reading this. I’m so sorry. The tattoo is lovely and so meaningful- that makes it even lovelier.
.-= astylizedhysteria´s last blog ..Where I Live =-.
Beautiful post.
Wow. So beautiful & touching. I love it.
beautiful. truly. and you express your story way better than i would have been able to! *applause (between tears)*
.-= charles´s last blog ..Obamarama–Today’s Outfit =-.
Amazing post! Sometimes you never really realize what your father meant to you until he’s gone. I’m sure he’s smiling down on you, watching your every move.
.-= Fajr|Stylish Thought´s last blog ..Philly Shopping: Moxie Jane Jewelry =-.
What a lovely and moving post, and amazing idea, your dad’s own handwriting! I love it and admire you for doing it- he’ll always be with you.
wow. Alicia i did not know about the spat and i think you got us all crying here. the tat is beautiful and you know he ALWAYS spoke of you and how proud he IS of you. you are his golden child and as vain as he is ….he loves it! thank you for sharing. I too have thought alot about your dad these past few days. he was truely a blessing to me and thank you for sharing him with me too!
Hey Licy Poo
– thanks for sharing your story. I am sure pops is proud & smiling down.
I never knew the meaning behind “Golden Child” but saw it as your “name” on Myspace when we all use to use it
<3 ya girl!
This is beautiful. I wish I could say that I had a more emotional reaction, but I don’t have a relationship with my father to base these types of feelings on. I am smack dab in the middle of that 70% of black children born to single mothers statistic. I’ve always had friends who had great relationships with their fathers, and I’ve always been jealous. One of my favorite songs is Beyonce’s “Daddy.” It is such a beautiful song, and I wish that I could understand that type of relationship more. Like her song, I feel that your tattoo is wonderful tribute to a wonderful person.
I wish nothing but happiness and blessings to you and your guardian angel.
Peace
This is beautiful. I must admit that I welled up a bit reading this. <3
First I quint my eyes and ask, what is the meaning of this one, then I stare in silence. Before typing I sit at my desk with my mouth covered. This is a beautiful post. I’m now smiling: your fathers handwriting, the gift, the note within. WOW, how awesome, the note is a gift in it self. What powerful words written to you.
Alicia you are so blessed and he’s right, you will do great things. duh! : ) Kick some ass today. GC In some way or another; i love you girl….
I LOVE it and YOU!
)
Inny,
This is beautiful. I LOVE that it’s in his handwriting. I am so touched. I wish I had this kind of relationship with my father as you and some of my other blogger friends have/have had. This may not be the time or place, but seriously, that tattoo is BAWSE. The location, the “font”, the nickname. Just bawse.
.-= Gem´s last blog ..Your Love is Mine =-.
Lovely post – thank you for sharing this special piece of yourself.
.-= Lenya Jones´s last blog ..WhoWhatWear.com – Inspired by Balmain =-.
lovely sands.
I miss him too. He was the father to our line ya know.
Ditto Ang.
Appropriate and suitable… The ultimate tribute lady… Definitely.
.-= trE´s last blog ..jackson’s kids’ reality?|onyx still scares me =-.
I am starting to tear up while responding to this. Thank you for the very real reminder, that our time here is precious. I love my Dad, so very much. (And my Mum).
.-= Aja´s last blog ..Sunrays – Yesterday’s New Quintet =-.
i love this tattoo. the location, the meaning, the significance. i love it. i know your dad loves it. i just know he does.
*snugs*
.-= karrie b.´s last blog ..24/15 =-.
Your tattoo is beauitful, along with the meaning behind it.
oh my, im sorry to hear this love. i dont have either of my parents so i know what youre feeling. thats a gorgeous tattoo to remember him x
.-= krystal´s last blog .."You better come on in my kitchen baby, it’s goin’ to be rainin’ outdoors…" –Robert Johnson =-.
that’s so sad to hear but the tattoo looks great on you
http://diemodepolizei.blogspot.com/
(shameless self-promotion)
.-= Die Modepolizei´s last blog ..Sightings – Red Patent Leather Boots =-.
the writing is amazing. beautiful tattoo.
.-= kara´s last blog ..Hello =-.
I love it, and the meaning and purpose behind it! I’m glad you did it.
I just clicked on this from your most recent post. I love the way you write, the way you’re so passionate and the way you find meaning in things other people would miss.
Beautiful entry and I have no doubt you’ll be in a future publishing of the book
XXo,
Neekoh
.-= neekoh´s last blog ..the big reveal =-.